{"id":4691,"date":"2021-04-21T10:34:23","date_gmt":"2021-04-21T15:34:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/onehopecanada.ca\/?p=4691"},"modified":"2021-04-22T15:06:20","modified_gmt":"2021-04-22T20:06:20","slug":"how-to-live-a-faith-worth-keeping","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/onehopecanada.ca\/fr\/how-to-live-a-faith-worth-keeping\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Model a Faith Worth Keeping"},"content":{"rendered":"
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I don\u2019t think there was anyone in my life who shaped my faith more profoundly than my dad.<\/p>

Lately, I have found myself spending more and more time reflecting on exactly what my father did that had such a transforming effect on my life.<\/p>

Here is one thing I know: we did not have a lot of deep spiritual conversations.<\/p>

There were some, and I believe spiritual conversations are very important when it comes to\u00a0passing faith on to our kids<\/a>, but\u00a0more than anything, what I remember about my father was what he modelled. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>

Authentic faith<\/span><\/h4>

I remember Dad going through a season of lent-ing from TV. I remember him awkwardly trying to share his faith with non-Christian friends at the rink after our small community experienced deep tragedy. I remember watching Dad openly and authentically respond in tears at church when he spoke of heaven and being with Jesus, and I remember him grieving deeply when we discovered mom had cancer.<\/p>

I remember Dad reading his Bible, and fighting to live with integrity and justice. And I remember my father authentically enjoying all people in our community, without compromising his relationship with Jesus Christ. What my dad modelled moved me.<\/strong><\/p>

Two research projects, Renegotiating Faith<\/a> and Hemorrhaging Faith<\/a>, make it clear that what was modelled within the family unit, and what kind of environment we created within the family unit, had a profound effect on the faith formation of the next generation.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>

What specifically are some things that we need to model and embrace in our families that can make a significant impact in the lives of our children? Let me give you a few ideas.<\/p>

Model spiritual disciplines<\/span><\/h4>

It is one thing to make your kids do disciplines (read the Bible and pray), and it is certainly not a bad thing at all to have devotional time with your children, but it is another thing to authentically model disciplines before your kids.<\/strong>\u00a0In fact, young adults over and over told us specifically that what their parents modelled had a deeper impact in their lives than what parents made their children do.<\/p>

Don\u2019t be afraid of confession<\/span><\/h4>

Our kids don\u2019t need perfect parents. They already know those parents don\u2019t actually exist. What they need are parents of integrity.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>

Integrity doesn\u2019t mean we don\u2019t make mistakes, it means when we make mistakes, we own them.\u00a0I think one of our fears is that confession may be a sign of weakness to our children,\u00a0<\/strong>but that is only when confession is a means to an end…when we confess as a way of getting something in return, like maybe affirmation or control.<\/p>

But when we humbly confess simply because it is the right thing to do, regardless of the response, it is experienced as\u00a0an act of strength and authentic faith.<\/strong><\/p>

Work hard to create an environment of relational security, even in the midst of fighting.<\/span><\/h4>

Our goal as parents is not to avoid conflict (it\u2019s also not to create conflict).<\/p>

Every good parent knows that conflict will come, because none of us, including our children and ourselves, are always good! And while it is necessary for our kids to experience appropriate consequences for poor choices and wrong actions,\u00a0our goal is to maintain relational security, even in the midst of the conflict.\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>

One way to do this is to make sure we\u00a0challenge and confront the wrong behaviour, attitudes, and beliefs of our child while affirming our unconditional love for them.<\/strong>\u00a0Part of what that means is as parents, especially if things have gone wrong, we take it upon ourselves to be the ones that initiate reconciliation first. And we always provide a way or open the door for our kids to move back toward relational restoration.<\/p>

Model working through hardship, not avoiding hardship.<\/span><\/h4>

When appropriate,\u00a0don\u2019t be afraid to open the window to your children on what it looks like to wrestle through difficult situations<\/strong>\u2014situations like seeing God provide when resources are not in abundance, or processing right ways to deal with relational conflict, or asking God to give hope in the midst of situations that seem hopeless.\u00a0\u00a0Of course, we need to be careful to not place the burden of our struggle on our kids. We own that. But we do allow them to observe the right way to work through our struggles.\u00a0<\/p>

The second part to that journey is that we help our kids navigate their own hardships, as opposed to automatically rescuing them. When we consistently step in and remove them from their hardships, we remove the opportunity for them to experience God in their hardship.<\/p>

Create environments that encourage our kids to articulate faith… and struggles with faith.<\/span><\/h4>

It can be really hard to get our teens to share more than one or two sentences about their day, let alone their faith.\u00a0\u00a0I understand this. But there are a couple of things we can intentionally do to open up the door for honest sharing:<\/p>

Don\u2019t force the small moments to become large moments.\u00a0<\/strong>Sometimes our kids will open the window into their journey just a crack, and if we try and force that window wide open, we may lose the opportunity to experience the crack.\u00a0\u00a0However, if we don\u2019t push, and our kids feel safe to share a little without having to share a lot, the next time they may share more.<\/p>

Promote an environment of truth and grace.\u00a0<\/strong>How we respond to other situations tells our kids how we will respond to their situation.\u00a0\u00a0If they hear us responding with anger, condemnation, or degradation to other people\u2019s struggles and failures, that creates an assumption that we will respond to their struggles and failures.\u00a0\u00a0Fight to make your home an environment of truth and grace, no matter who or what you are talking about.<\/p>

Don’t belittle online conversations.\u00a0<\/strong>Don\u2019t belittle online conversations. Sometimes we think a quick text about an issue or problem is an insignificant moment. It\u2019s not. For a teenager, it can be a safe way to open the door of vulnerability. If you respond well, over time (in my case with my son, over a year) those texting conversations can become face to face conversations.<\/p>

Most importantly,\u00a0while we absolutely celebrate the role and importance others play in the faith formation of our teens<\/a>, we never abdicate the responsibility or opportunity we have within our own family experience.<\/p>

We don\u2019t \u2018subcontract\u2019 passing on faith, we embrace it.<\/p><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR<\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Sid Koop is the founder and executive director of\u00a0Truth Matters<\/a>, a ministry devoted to helping the next generation see and experience the truth of Jesus Christ. He is a key member of the\u00a0Renegotiating Faith research partnership<\/a>. This article originally appeared on the Briercrest Parents Blog, and is used with permission of the author.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How we live out our faith has a big impact on the next generation! Five ideas to help you and your kids discover what it means to be Jesus-followers…together.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":5089,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[114,74],"class_list":["post-4691","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","tag-faith","tag-parents"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Model a Faith Worth Keeping<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Help your kids discover what it means to follow Jesus. 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